Please ignore this blog if you don’t have at least one of the following:
1. an open mind
2. common sense about public opinion
Really, leave now if you’re not a sensible opinion reader, because I promise you, I will delete and block every attacking comment left on this blog. Take that, negativity.
This is not a Casey Anthony defense. It’s just my opinion about her life and what might have happened in it.
If you’re after a storyline, here is one that really needs more news coverage and some tough social media: http://www.wtvr.com/wtvr-gloucester-couple-in-court-20110504,0,4103519.story
And now, if you’re still here, I have to tell you something.
I know someone who is JUST. LIKE. CASEY. ANTHONY. And this is what I think about it.
What happened to Casey?
As I watched the murder case against Casey Anthony unfold over the past few weeks, I became less and less convinced that any evidence puts Casey at the exact scene of the crime, with an exact motive, and with a specific murder weapon. There is no true cause of death for three year old Caylee Anthony and no timeline leading up to her death. Anyone who survived Civics in middle school knows that you have to have these things in a case to make an argument. Sure, lots of questions exist about what happened to Caylee, and one day they will be answered. But have any of us thought about what happened to Casey, and why she is the way she is?
Something very terrible and horrifying happened to Casey and her family, and is still happening to this very day. The Anthony family is incredibly dysfunctional, including one separation of the parents, screaming and bickering, disrespect, lying, cheating, stealing and very little boundary. Casey got pregnant at age 20 – barely an adult, not even old enough to drink or rent a car – while still living with her parents. Very few people know who the baby’s father was and the family hid the pregnancy until the baby was born, even from Casey’s brother. Casey’s mom belittled her and her father, made fun of her brother, and constantly fought with Casey. Both parents are overly dramatic, selfish, and non-supportive. All of their private business is out in the open now, and all of their skeletons are out. The family is in hiding and under protective services because of protesters in their community. They are scared and worried for their safety – not to mention that they have been reminded over and over again for the past four months of their granddaughter’s death. They’ve been placed under the microscope and they don’t look good. No one can look good in that circumstance. They are mourning all over again – but this time, it’s not just their dead granddaughter.
After all of this, is it any surprise that Casey is a deeply disturbed individual?
Profile of a Liar
A pathological liar has a real disability, just as real as deafness or blindness. In many cases, pathological lying is a symptom of other mental disorders, such as bipolar disorder or schizophrenia. Pathological lying is also a common symptom in many personality disorders, most notably antisocial personality disorder, which is most famous for self-victimizing and extreme disregard for other people. Lack of emotion, love, and sympathy for others are telltale signs of the disorder. Disregard for safety of other people, consequences of actions, and impact of bad decisions. All of these things rolled together, with a nice juicy cherry on top, is the recipe for a sociopath. Meet Casey Anthony. And my own sister. And about 35,000 other Americans just like them.
Why does a blind man trip over the curb? Because he can’t see the sidewalk.
I can’t imagine what it’s like to feel the need to lie about everything, even when there is no need. Why didn’t she tell police? Because she physically couldn’t. She didn’t know how. So she did what she knew – she lied about it. Did Casey kill Caylee? No one except Casey knows. Personally, I think something horrible happened to Caylee and Casey tried to cover it up to glorify herself. She did a shitty job, too. Perhaps Casey and Caylee were going for a swim that day. Did Casey run inside to answer the phone while Caylee was outside at the pool? Did she take just a little more than a second, while Caylee climbed the ladder and fell in? Did something even worse happen? It’s all possible. She partied and got a tattoo because she BADLY wanted for everyone to think that nothing was wrong. She overcompensated in convincing everyone that everything was okay. The story in her head played out like a movie: Caylee was “missing” and she needed a story. She made it look like the “nanny” killed her, leaving Casey the victim. The funny thing about lies, though, is they are hard to sustain. So she made up more and more to keep sustaining her story, which fell apart like a stricken pinata. I believe that there may be some element of truth to the accidental drowning, and Casey covered it up so much that her parents got involved and made Casey look more and more guilty of something unimaginable to all of us. At that point, Casey had been so deep into her story that she didn’t know how to get out. And she got scared.
As a sentient society, we can’t wrap our brains around how someone can make all of this up. Or why. And that fact that a beautiful little girl is dead and SOMEONE has to be held responsible. We can’t understand because we don’t want to. It’s incomprehensible that someone can lie so much and be so deceitful and selfish. We can’t put ourselves in her shoes because we don’t want to. We don’t have the mental capacity to imagine what it must be like to be Casey, just like we can’t imagine what it is like to be deaf or blind when we aren’t.
Twins and Siblings
I remember what my sister’s face looked like in court when we were fighting for custody of her son. Casey had that same look. The pursed lips. The stone-cold face. The head shaking and the mumbling. The note passing to the attorneys. The women are like twins. Perhaps my personal experience kept me glued to CNN to watch the Anthony trial, but I saw so much of my sister in Casey’s eyes. I was shocked and relieved: someone else out there saw in Casey what I saw in my sister many years ago. I am not the only one. Finally, I’m not the only one.
The thing here is: I can’t imagine what is like to be Casey, but I can imagine what it must be like for her family. It goes without saying that my family is not like Casey’s – I would like to think that my family is decently “normal,” with the exception of the sociopath sibling thing.
My heart goes out to Lee, her brother, who seems to be the only one in this case with any common sense. He must be thinking that the world is so unfair sometimes. He must be feeling pretty horrible because there is nothing he can do to help his family. He’s alone. And probably sad. And angry. And many other things that I remember feeling many years ago.
I feel for you, Lee, I really do. As a survivor of a family war (nothing compared to yours) and a sibling of a bi-polar/anti-social individual, I can honestly say that I understand.
But here is some good news, Lee:
One day, when Casey disappears into the night (and she probably will soon) and marries some schmuck and has another baby that she doesn’t have any business having, you will somehow find it in your heart to forgive her. Many days and nights will go by without you speaking to one another and your heart will continue to break little by little each time. You will feel a deep sadness for your niece and the life she could have had and the childhood you remember with Casey. You will call her. She won’t answer. You will cry. She won’t. You will hurt, scream, wonder, and be alone. She won’t feel anything. You’ll think there is something wrong with you, but I promise – it’s all her.
Then one day, you’ll wake up next to your beautiful wife and hear your wonderful child singing through the monitor to let you know it’s morning time, and you’ll wonder how your life got to be so good after something so terrible. In the midst of all the wonderfulness that will encompass your life, you will find it somewhere deep in your heart (look in the place where you store your favorite childhood memory of Casey) and you will forgive her for what she did to your family. I know that sounds ridiculous right now, but I promise – it will happen to you just like it happened to me.
The Other Side
Social media is a beautiful thing – it can create a public opinion in a matter of seconds. Not only public opinion, but also public panic. For example: if someone in a large crowd starts screaming and running, looking behind them… eventually someone will start running too. Then three people. Then fifteen. Then fifty. You get the picture. Social media works the same way without the screaming lunatic. Facebook, Twitter, blogs, and even news sites (Nancy Grace, for example) all feed public opinion the fattiest, most unhealthy scraps that they can dig up. Once someone gets hyped about the story, they Blow. It. Up. Then we all get interested. Then we all start believing each other. It’s amazing how fast a verdict was reached in this case before the girl ever had her day in court. She was guilty from the minute they found Caylee. Way to uphold the Constitution, folks. You’re ALL stand up citizens.
We know SQUAT about this case, we haven’t seen all the evidence, and we don’t know the truth.
This girl and her family have been torn apart by the media and all we can do is sit around on Facebook and call her murderous, idiotic, insane, and disgusting. If you don’t have Casey’s fingerprints on a murder weapon directly linked to Caylee with a motive and a timeline, well, you have squat. You have nothing except your opinion, which you are entitled to. You are not entitled to attack the Anthony family with your stabs in the press and gunshots to social media using that opinion.
Casey was once a child. She was grown in her mother’s womb and she is her mother and father’s baby. I’m sure her mother and father did not intend for this to happen to their child, and certainly not their grandchild. Casey is loved by many people who are hurting. They are heartbroken more than we can ever know, over the death of a baby and the social suicide of another. Her family will never be the same – just like mine is not the same – and all we can do is sit around and criticize them. Casey needs some serious, hardcore therapy and lifelong counseling . I can only pray that she, and the rest of her family, will receive it.
How would you feel if your child turned out to be like Casey? What would you do? I hope I never have to answer that question.
I implore each of you who read these words: leave this family to heal. Justice is not ours to serve. So why are we still cooking it?